"Monday, you can hold your head..."
tuesday wednesday stay in bed
or thursday watch the walls instead
it's friday i'm in love.." (the Cure)
Hmmm...sounds like Kyle's work week to me...
Hehe...I never did like the band "The Cure," since I always thought they were a bunch of sissies (wow, haven't used that word in a while) with cheesy music. But other lines in this song say, "monday you can fall apart" and "I don't care if Monday's black." Appropriate, considering that today's been the first "bad" monday I've had in a while. Stacey's had some frustrating issues at work, I've been engaged in the JOYOUS task of looking at bills/finances, and all this while it's an absolutely beautiful day outside. Normally, beautiful days are NOT depressing, but it IS November and I like cold weather...AND, dang it, if it's going to stubbornly stay like summer outside, I wish I had time to be out IN IT. So, maybe I want to get all "sissy" myself and "fall apart" on a depressing Monday like today...
...thinking about the amount of money we still owe...thinking about the absolutely IMMENSE struggles I know some of my friends are going through with everything from finances to family...thinking about the amount of work that needs to be done...thinking about how out of shape I am...thinking about how my spiritual life sometimes feels devoid of a real experience with God...
And what does this mood do to me? Nothing good. I wind up snapping more frequently at Stacey over stupid stuff, or I wind up losing patience with Kailyn simply because she's a toddler. Wow, that's not the kind of dad and husband I want to be. I also tend to isolate myself from others...not wanting to talk to anyone. Instead, it's tempting to just sit here and wallow in a foul mood "wasting my life away," as another noted in his blog today for probably different reasons.
However, I don't want to care if Monday's "black." Maybe I need to kick myself in my emotional (CENSORED) and realize that no matter what's going on, life is inherently good. I could say that it's good because of my beautiful daughter, or my beautiful wife, or having a roof over my head... Or because I'm watching our debt gradually get reduced, or seeing Crosspoint gain more and more momentum... Or because it IS just good to be alive on bad days, knowing they haven't killed me yet. ...or because I can look forward to hanging out with friends tonight at Guadelajara
But, as good as these things are (and it's healthy to remember these things), they're not the reason life is good in and of themselves. I think life is good simply because...God cares. When I'm fighting depression I can't help but feel (at least partly) ridiculous because, after all, I am a child of God, regardless of whether I "feel" His presence or not. And I wonder how I can be so depressed since I've experienced the GOOD NEWS...no, the BEST NEWS, in my life? The good news that God loves me...Is everything else too big that I forget that simple truth?
Am I a sap? Have I, as Sigmund Freud suggests, created an artificial religious belief to comfort me? (I've been guilty of that, too).
No, it's a simple truth. God loves me. God strengthens me. He only fails if I stubbornly refuse to acknowledge him...but, hmm...now that I think about it, he doesn't really fail then, either. Maybe some of the people who've professed "love" in his name have failed me...but God never really has.
So, I don't know who among you out there is having a rough week, month, or year...though I know some of you are. So, I'm breaking from tongue-in-cheek "jesting" in my blog for this entry just to encourage you guys in the hopes that you, too can find comfort in knowing that God loves all of us...even in a small town like Decatur where past discouragements can "haunt" you around every corner.
Is the good news of Christ's love for us "real" in our lives? I don't mean "real" to mean some emotional high or some intellectual certainty devoid of questions or even doubt. It's a simpler question than that...is it "real" to us? Does it give us hope when the bills pile up or when our jobs frustrate us or when...it's monday? Does that good news change us into better people? Do we want to share it?
After all, how many people do you know who have tough mondays and could use a little hope?
Maybe depression - sometimes - isn't a mood, but a choice... We choose to wallow in the things that discourage - or - we choose to celebrate the best news we could ever hope for...
Okay, done preaching...I'll leave that up to Dave from now on ;-).
or thursday watch the walls instead
it's friday i'm in love.." (the Cure)
Hmmm...sounds like Kyle's work week to me...
Hehe...I never did like the band "The Cure," since I always thought they were a bunch of sissies (wow, haven't used that word in a while) with cheesy music. But other lines in this song say, "monday you can fall apart" and "I don't care if Monday's black." Appropriate, considering that today's been the first "bad" monday I've had in a while. Stacey's had some frustrating issues at work, I've been engaged in the JOYOUS task of looking at bills/finances, and all this while it's an absolutely beautiful day outside. Normally, beautiful days are NOT depressing, but it IS November and I like cold weather...AND, dang it, if it's going to stubbornly stay like summer outside, I wish I had time to be out IN IT. So, maybe I want to get all "sissy" myself and "fall apart" on a depressing Monday like today...
...thinking about the amount of money we still owe...thinking about the absolutely IMMENSE struggles I know some of my friends are going through with everything from finances to family...thinking about the amount of work that needs to be done...thinking about how out of shape I am...thinking about how my spiritual life sometimes feels devoid of a real experience with God...
And what does this mood do to me? Nothing good. I wind up snapping more frequently at Stacey over stupid stuff, or I wind up losing patience with Kailyn simply because she's a toddler. Wow, that's not the kind of dad and husband I want to be. I also tend to isolate myself from others...not wanting to talk to anyone. Instead, it's tempting to just sit here and wallow in a foul mood "wasting my life away," as another noted in his blog today for probably different reasons.
However, I don't want to care if Monday's "black." Maybe I need to kick myself in my emotional (CENSORED) and realize that no matter what's going on, life is inherently good. I could say that it's good because of my beautiful daughter, or my beautiful wife, or having a roof over my head... Or because I'm watching our debt gradually get reduced, or seeing Crosspoint gain more and more momentum... Or because it IS just good to be alive on bad days, knowing they haven't killed me yet. ...or because I can look forward to hanging out with friends tonight at Guadelajara
But, as good as these things are (and it's healthy to remember these things), they're not the reason life is good in and of themselves. I think life is good simply because...God cares. When I'm fighting depression I can't help but feel (at least partly) ridiculous because, after all, I am a child of God, regardless of whether I "feel" His presence or not. And I wonder how I can be so depressed since I've experienced the GOOD NEWS...no, the BEST NEWS, in my life? The good news that God loves me...Is everything else too big that I forget that simple truth?
Am I a sap? Have I, as Sigmund Freud suggests, created an artificial religious belief to comfort me? (I've been guilty of that, too).
No, it's a simple truth. God loves me. God strengthens me. He only fails if I stubbornly refuse to acknowledge him...but, hmm...now that I think about it, he doesn't really fail then, either. Maybe some of the people who've professed "love" in his name have failed me...but God never really has.
So, I don't know who among you out there is having a rough week, month, or year...though I know some of you are. So, I'm breaking from tongue-in-cheek "jesting" in my blog for this entry just to encourage you guys in the hopes that you, too can find comfort in knowing that God loves all of us...even in a small town like Decatur where past discouragements can "haunt" you around every corner.
Is the good news of Christ's love for us "real" in our lives? I don't mean "real" to mean some emotional high or some intellectual certainty devoid of questions or even doubt. It's a simpler question than that...is it "real" to us? Does it give us hope when the bills pile up or when our jobs frustrate us or when...it's monday? Does that good news change us into better people? Do we want to share it?
After all, how many people do you know who have tough mondays and could use a little hope?
Maybe depression - sometimes - isn't a mood, but a choice... We choose to wallow in the things that discourage - or - we choose to celebrate the best news we could ever hope for...
Okay, done preaching...I'll leave that up to Dave from now on ;-).
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