They have a vanilla coating...
I have magic pills. Yellow ones that have a vanilla coating. Half-inch long little wonders which are supposed to help rid my body of the infection in my lungs (read: pneumonia). Though my doctor visit revealed pretty high blood pressure and a gentle warning from my doctor that I need to get in shape, the 'mystery' of my lousy feeling all week has -hopefully- been diagnosed.
Being the girl (lol) that I am, I get incredibly anxious and stressed about a lot of things. But NOTHING has made me more stressed out lately than knowing something was wrong with my body and not knowing what. And - since the infection in my lungs is located right near my heart, my mind began racing with images of cardio problems. Needless to say, I was actually a bit frightened since my lightheadedness and the pain and discomfort in my chest hadn't gone away after a couple of days.
So to find out a small spot (infection) showed up on an x-ray today made me breath the sigh of relief that comes from just 'knowing' SOMETHING instead of nothing.
-On a side note: I still hate needles. Yes, that, too, makes me a girl. (Why do guys say that? Girls handle needles better than we do). Actually, I hate the tourniquet of death they tie around your arm to make the veins pop out. I didn't even feel the needle go in, but I felt that stupid rubber strap cutting off blood to my extremities. Ow. -End rant -
Ironically, while I was sitting there in a state of pretty high anxiety getting my blood drawn, "This Fragile Breath" came on the radio over the Muzak system, and I almost laughed...since my breath LITERALLY has felt more 'fragile' than ever in the past few days. And I began thinking, "What if?" What if something is wrong with my heart? What if I'm starting a long, difficult journey of medications, treatments, and even surgeries? Could I still...praise? Could I still trust?
Sorry for the theological detour, but isn't a time of testing SUPPOSED to prove the mettle of our faith?
Even with the conclusions of the x-ray, I still have high blood pressure (way too high). And - to be on the safe side - I'm still scheduled to have an ultrasound of my heart done next Friday to make sure the spot in my lungs really is the culprit and there's nothign wrong with my heart. And what if something IS found to be wrong?
You see? Anxiety. I can blow ridiculous amounts of anxiety out of my butt. But why? What's the point of being anxious? All that's doing is contributing to my blood pressure and stress... The doctor gave me some samples of some stuff to help me deal with anxiety like this, but all that does is make me feel pretty pathetic, too.
But at least I'm not the guy the nurse who drew my blood told me about: This 40+ year old man in there yesterday she LITERALLY had to chase around the lab because he was scared to have his finger pricked. I laughed with her, though silently remembering an experience when I was about 8 years old when it took 5 nurses to hold me down so they could give me a penicillin shot in the a$$. Not fun. How embarrassing for me.
...
Anyway, after this ordeal, I came home and prepped for band practice. Given the pain in my lungs, I called Pam and had her fill in on (very) short notice. She did well, though a couple of the songs are indeed out of her range. Still, she and Eli did very well, considering the song selection and having ZERO time to prepare on Pam's part. I did feel up to singing on a couple of songs, however ("This Fragile Breath" - ironic, again). Overall, things were a bit rough on the instrument side of things, too, but I'm sure things will come together by Sunday. They always do.
In any case, I already feel a bit better. I'm certain I'll be able to jump in and lead and/or sing on all the songs with the ladies Sunday a.m. I plan to, anyway. I was able to do it last week. But it's nice to know things are getting to the point I can step back if necessary. That is, if I don't cause Pam to bust a vocal cord by making her sing a song that's in a key that's just too high. Heh.
Being the girl (lol) that I am, I get incredibly anxious and stressed about a lot of things. But NOTHING has made me more stressed out lately than knowing something was wrong with my body and not knowing what. And - since the infection in my lungs is located right near my heart, my mind began racing with images of cardio problems. Needless to say, I was actually a bit frightened since my lightheadedness and the pain and discomfort in my chest hadn't gone away after a couple of days.
So to find out a small spot (infection) showed up on an x-ray today made me breath the sigh of relief that comes from just 'knowing' SOMETHING instead of nothing.
-On a side note: I still hate needles. Yes, that, too, makes me a girl. (Why do guys say that? Girls handle needles better than we do). Actually, I hate the tourniquet of death they tie around your arm to make the veins pop out. I didn't even feel the needle go in, but I felt that stupid rubber strap cutting off blood to my extremities. Ow. -End rant -
Ironically, while I was sitting there in a state of pretty high anxiety getting my blood drawn, "This Fragile Breath" came on the radio over the Muzak system, and I almost laughed...since my breath LITERALLY has felt more 'fragile' than ever in the past few days. And I began thinking, "What if?" What if something is wrong with my heart? What if I'm starting a long, difficult journey of medications, treatments, and even surgeries? Could I still...praise? Could I still trust?
Sorry for the theological detour, but isn't a time of testing SUPPOSED to prove the mettle of our faith?
Even with the conclusions of the x-ray, I still have high blood pressure (way too high). And - to be on the safe side - I'm still scheduled to have an ultrasound of my heart done next Friday to make sure the spot in my lungs really is the culprit and there's nothign wrong with my heart. And what if something IS found to be wrong?
You see? Anxiety. I can blow ridiculous amounts of anxiety out of my butt. But why? What's the point of being anxious? All that's doing is contributing to my blood pressure and stress... The doctor gave me some samples of some stuff to help me deal with anxiety like this, but all that does is make me feel pretty pathetic, too.
But at least I'm not the guy the nurse who drew my blood told me about: This 40+ year old man in there yesterday she LITERALLY had to chase around the lab because he was scared to have his finger pricked. I laughed with her, though silently remembering an experience when I was about 8 years old when it took 5 nurses to hold me down so they could give me a penicillin shot in the a$$. Not fun. How embarrassing for me.
...
Anyway, after this ordeal, I came home and prepped for band practice. Given the pain in my lungs, I called Pam and had her fill in on (very) short notice. She did well, though a couple of the songs are indeed out of her range. Still, she and Eli did very well, considering the song selection and having ZERO time to prepare on Pam's part. I did feel up to singing on a couple of songs, however ("This Fragile Breath" - ironic, again). Overall, things were a bit rough on the instrument side of things, too, but I'm sure things will come together by Sunday. They always do.
In any case, I already feel a bit better. I'm certain I'll be able to jump in and lead and/or sing on all the songs with the ladies Sunday a.m. I plan to, anyway. I was able to do it last week. But it's nice to know things are getting to the point I can step back if necessary. That is, if I don't cause Pam to bust a vocal cord by making her sing a song that's in a key that's just too high. Heh.
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