Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Falling down the stairs

Zachary fell down the stairs two nights ago. It was a pretty scary experience to hear the "ga-dunk ga-dunk" noise of a 1-year-old tumbling like that and not being able to get to him in time to stop the fall. Baby gates do little when they're not put up. It just surprised us how quickly he got to the edge of the stairs.

Fortunately, he was all right. Had a little busted upper lip, but he quickly resumed his normal habit of crawling at light speed...and we made sure the baby gate was in place to avoid future mishaps.

If falling down the stairs is the worst thing that happens to him, then great. But I know that won't be the case. It's a rough world out there, and he's barely begun to grow into it. I hate that the innocence of childhood is something we lose as we grow up.

When we're children, our drama is usually limited to fixing 'boo-boos', wondering why summers go by so fast before school starts again, and trying not to get too bored as we sit through adult things like "shopping for clothes" or something like that. I'd gladly exchange the drama of my life for that kind of drama.

As adults, there's way too much drama in our lives. We're living, breathing, walking, talking soap operas. Our lives are confounded by work issues, health issues, friendship issues, financial issues, spiritual issues, control issues, and emotional issues. And in facing the reality of these issues, we're either too thin-skinned or too thick-skinned. Left to our own devices, we suck at dealing with drama.

We suck at communication. We talk too much or talk too little. We think too much or think too little. We love ourselves too much and others too little. We can be overly protective or overly vulnerable. We can act too quickly or be too indecisive. We can be too controlling or too out of control. We can love others, but even our love for others can often be self-serving. Too much depression, not enough joy. Too much chaos, not enough peace. Too much criticism, not enough grace. Too much debate, not enough dialogue. Too much pain, not enough healing. Too much anger, not enough longsuffering. Too much "me," not enough God.

Life throws drama our way we didn't ask for. And we add to that drama with our own shortcomings and flaws. And it all collides into a big mess that only seems to get bigger and bigger over time. Ga-dunk. Ga-dunk. And it hurts. Bad, sometimes.

Life should not be so freakin' complicated.

If things go wrong, we ought to be able to work things out. This may sound simplistic and unrealistic, but - as Christians - it may only sound that way because we seldom really try to live this way. Emotional crises could be handled by not getting to worked up over things...and getting help when that doesn't work. Financial crises could be handled by managing things like our debt and learning to give up the things that lead to the crisis. Health crises could be dealt with by having faith in the life to come after death. Spiritual crises...same thing...know when to wrestle with our doubt and when to understand that real faith is believing amidst doubt. Friendship crises...talk things out...no mind games, no bitterness...forgiveness and grace. Work issues...sure, it'd be great if jobs were more satisfying for most people, but even the worst jobs help bring home a paycheck.

Is it a matter of perspective? Partly. It's having a Christ-induced optimism that ought to come with knowing there's real hope in all things. Not a blind allegiance to some utopianistic and imaginary vision of a world where everyone smiles a big, cheesy smile and begins sentences with "Joy and peace to you brother..." But a genuine acknowledgement that there's still hope in spite of the very real issues in our lives. Maybe if we did that, our lives would be filled with less drama...less tension...less doubt...less anger...less fear... We'd learn to at least 'let go' of the things that we can that knock us down the stairs...

But it's also a matter of choice. When something goes wrong, I choose how I respond. And I can either add to the drama by responding incorrectly, or I can respond to life's issues in such a way that lessens the impact.

I think God understands this about our lives when he says things like, "A kind word turns away wrath." If someone comes at me with 'wrath' - deep anger, every bone in my body wants to respond in kind. And an escalaton occurs. Our wrath combines exponentially, then things are out of control. Chaos ensues...and the moment becomes a huge issue in our lives. Maybe even one that haunts us and even reinforces a pattern of behavior that will make the next similar moment is even more intense.

But a "kind" word could've lessened the impact. A Christ-like response - a choice - could calm the chaos...even if just a bit.

It just amazes me that when issues get thrown at us, we know how we ought to respond, but get so caught up in our own intense feelings and attitudes, that we throw that Christ-like response out the window. And the drama of our lives intensifies. Ga-dunk. Ga-dunk.

Life should not be so freakin' complicated.

I choose to uncomplicate my life. I can't pretend there aren't issues that will impact me. Certainly not. I've struggled with depression, debt, marital issues, friendship breakdowns, work issues, etc., etc. They can and do and will happen. But I can uncomplicate them by trying to figure out how to choose to live a life governed by loving God and others...and letting that love and faith dictate my responses to everything.

The alternative is sheer chaos.

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