Rated M for mature...
As I parouse friends' blogs, my only thoughts as I sit down to type at my own are: "Kailyn, go play." "What I wouldn't give for a few seconds of peace and quiet." I feel like going deep...like contemplating some great truth of the universe or something, but find that I can't. I feel like the kid at the pool trying to swim in the deep end but just can't go underwater because the floaties of life are keeping me shallow.
So, no deep thoughts. No great personal revelations. No words of pseudo-wisdom to impart.
So, what do I blog about?
Hmmm...
How about Half Life 2? Half Life 2 owns me. So far, it's worth all the hype it's generated. Too...much...to...talk about. Other than a couple of technical 'bugs' in the game, it's proven to be the best-ever first person shooter game I've ever played. I'm a headcrab killin, ant lion herding, Combine crushing force to be reckoned with. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you either are just not a PC gamer OR...you have a life...which I don't, apparently...
I've enjoyed sitting here listening to the thunder outside and relaxing. Sometimes storms are calming things for me. I dunno why. Then again, the significance of the moment was crushed by the sudden whir of the washing machine Stacey decided to start and the constant attention rants of my daughter. -Sigh- Such is life, though, ain't it? Barely enough time to pause and marvel at part of God's creation before some created part of it interferes. Like a boob who walks into a picture you're trying to take, I guess...
Had to unplug the TV and the main PC upstairs...just to be on the safe side with all the lightning in the area. So if the dryer wasn't running and my kid could ignore the thunder and go to sleep, maybe I COULD find the peace and quiet I want to find tonight...
Maybe that is the point... In the chaos of life, finding time to shut down the noise can be almost impossible. Especially with a 2 year old. My life is...watch Kailyn all day, then spend time with Stacey and Kailyn at night. I have hardly any time to myself, except for the brief moments in the afternoon around 4:00 when Stacey's not home yet and Kailyn's napping. But that's like an hour, and that's it...and even then, I usually wind up just finishing some project I couldn't finish with Kailyn running around. Then I stay up late to play a game or watch stupid late night talk shows...just to wind down...
I need to find time for myself...just me and God. That's it. That's what I want. Time to just 'be still, and know he is God" (Ps. 46:10). I studied that verse years ago, and what amazes me the most is the tense of the verb. It would be better translated, "Be STILLED, and know that I am God." As if the 'stilling' is something we have to let God do to us, rather than simply do it ourselves. I guess God knows just how problematic this can be...
God, STILL me. Grab my attention. Yank me out of the mundaness of routine and the noise of habit and society. Shut my mouth.
So I can know you are God. And I'm not.
So, no deep thoughts. No great personal revelations. No words of pseudo-wisdom to impart.
So, what do I blog about?
Hmmm...
How about Half Life 2? Half Life 2 owns me. So far, it's worth all the hype it's generated. Too...much...to...talk about. Other than a couple of technical 'bugs' in the game, it's proven to be the best-ever first person shooter game I've ever played. I'm a headcrab killin, ant lion herding, Combine crushing force to be reckoned with. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you either are just not a PC gamer OR...you have a life...which I don't, apparently...
I've enjoyed sitting here listening to the thunder outside and relaxing. Sometimes storms are calming things for me. I dunno why. Then again, the significance of the moment was crushed by the sudden whir of the washing machine Stacey decided to start and the constant attention rants of my daughter. -Sigh- Such is life, though, ain't it? Barely enough time to pause and marvel at part of God's creation before some created part of it interferes. Like a boob who walks into a picture you're trying to take, I guess...
Had to unplug the TV and the main PC upstairs...just to be on the safe side with all the lightning in the area. So if the dryer wasn't running and my kid could ignore the thunder and go to sleep, maybe I COULD find the peace and quiet I want to find tonight...
Maybe that is the point... In the chaos of life, finding time to shut down the noise can be almost impossible. Especially with a 2 year old. My life is...watch Kailyn all day, then spend time with Stacey and Kailyn at night. I have hardly any time to myself, except for the brief moments in the afternoon around 4:00 when Stacey's not home yet and Kailyn's napping. But that's like an hour, and that's it...and even then, I usually wind up just finishing some project I couldn't finish with Kailyn running around. Then I stay up late to play a game or watch stupid late night talk shows...just to wind down...
I need to find time for myself...just me and God. That's it. That's what I want. Time to just 'be still, and know he is God" (Ps. 46:10). I studied that verse years ago, and what amazes me the most is the tense of the verb. It would be better translated, "Be STILLED, and know that I am God." As if the 'stilling' is something we have to let God do to us, rather than simply do it ourselves. I guess God knows just how problematic this can be...
God, STILL me. Grab my attention. Yank me out of the mundaness of routine and the noise of habit and society. Shut my mouth.
So I can know you are God. And I'm not.
1 Comments:
From a stay at home parent, I get out and drive into nature, or take a walk at the refuge. You must find activities that she would like to do that keep her busy, that also relax you. It is so easy as a stay at home parent to stay at home. At least a couple of days a week go on an outing and the mall and walmart don't count. Books a million is a great place to take kids. they love playing with the train and you can sit in the kids section and catch up on some reading. You may already do stuff like this. Just thought I might help. Happy Thanksgiving
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