Thursday, October 27, 2005

"Ahh..the searing kiss of hot lead...

...How I missed you. I mean, I think I'm dying." (Apu)


I slept well.

So well, that I forgot to get the garbage out in time for pick-up. Oops.

...

I love this time of year. The weather...the falling leaves (all 10 of them from the one tree in my yard)...the holidays that pass by fast like cars on the interstate. At night, turn on the heat... During the day, turn on the A/C. Just don't forget to switch back, or you're likely to freeze and/or cook all in a 24-hour-period. Maybe I should move to some place like Portland, Oregon where it's more like this all the time.

Anyway...

...

Some guy in a Pontiac Sunfire tried to drag-race me on the Beltline yesterday. At best, 140 horses (him) vs. 220 (me). Still, since I hadn't approached the red light intending to drag race, it surprised me how fast he took off. However, the part of me that still wants to remain a teenager suddenly took over control of the Mazda and made me gun the accelerator. As I started to overtake the guy at around 50 mph, the 'responsible, ticket-fearing' person within me took back over (or tried to), and I decided to have more fun than simply blowing past him. I stayed just behind him (in my lane)...and incrementally kept accelerating...pushing him faster and faster. Every time I slowly started to pass, he'd go even faster. I did this for a while, until I guess he was somewhere in excess of 80 m.p.h. The whole time, I'm in 3rd gear with a LOT of room left on the accelerator...fighting the temptation to exert my own stupidity and "gun it" and pass him. I kept 'pushing' for a while before he had to slow down for the approaching red light. Heh. It's funny to manipulate another person's competitive nature like that.

Funny thing is, he got behind a long line of cars at the red light and I casually passed him at about 35 mph. In my rear view mirror, it was even funnier to watch him swerve in and out of traffic trying to catch back up. Doofus. He never did before I casually made my turn off the beltline.

Strangely, this seems to happen a lot on the beltline. Something's too tempting about all those straight, wide roads between red lights. Funny, the guys with lots of horsepower rarely cause a problem. The Mustangs, Corvettes, BMWs, vintage muscle cars...all those guys...fine...very rarely seen swerving in and out of traffic. Maybe they just feel they have nothing to prove. But some idiot in say...a 2000 Sunfire or a 1989 beat-up Oldsmobuick or 80s model VW Rabbit...will swerve in and out of traffic like Mario Andretti. And they'll scream by at 80 mph (in a 45/55)...only to have to stop at a red light, where you wind up catching back up while they sit and wait. I laugh every time. Especially when it's some puddle jumper some teenager has tried to modify but has only succeeded in making it loud, not fast.

While I'm chasing this rabbit trail, I'll mention a time in Birmingham when a guy in a very beat-up 1970s Datsun 280ZX passed me on a 25mph residential road going about 60. He maintained that speed going into a sharp curve just ahead of me, where he lost control of the car, began spinning, then 'launched' over the curb sideways where he skidded through the grass into some bushes and a brick neighborhood sign. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt. But that's automotive stupidity at its finest.

Hmm...I've digressed about this surprisingly longer than I thought I would. I guess it's a pet peeve to see so much competitiveness and stupidity from people on busy roads. No wonder there are so many fatal accidents on places like Hwy. 20. People pushing cars to do things they were never designed to do...drivers who would be safer behind the wheel of a kids' pedal car than something with a real engine in it.

I realize that I've done stupid stuff, myself...like getting lost and going the wrong way on a one-way street downtown. Ooops. But I realized my mistake immediately and corrected it...fast! And maybe yesterday was stupid...maybe I shouldn't have pushed that guy faster and faster yesterday. I know...I should've just laughed and ignored it... But there's something wickedly gratifying about passing a doofus who was trying his best to outrun you...especially when you pass him going 35 mph as he sits stuck in the long line of cars he only succeeded in catching up to.

Now, if I have time one day...I'll rant about my other pet peeve: People who drive too slow. That may be more epidemic than people who drive too fast. Please, people...55 mph is a privilege. Use it. You don't have to stick at 40 when that nice sign permits you to go faster.

Then again, maybe I should just quit driving.

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