Chumped

I get to say "see ya" to another Halloween. You know what that means, right? Christmas season. Yeah, I know...isn't there another holiday between Halloween and Christmas? Thanskgoober or something? I dunno.. All I know is that I saw a house on Modaus road today decorated for CHRISTMAS. Picket fence covered in garland and red bows. Definetely not some house that has decorations up all year b/c they're either too lazy or too old to take them down, either. Pure, 100% decoration.

I -maybe- can understand the greed-o-logic that drives retailers to decorate, but this is the first time I've EVER seen a residence take on Christmas garb so soon. No wonder so many of my friends loathe Christmas - because it can be so overhyped already...without adding to it.

End: Rant

Otherwise, this day has beeen a balance of good and bad.

GOOD: Stacey got rid of her migraine that she developed at 3:00 a.m.
BAD: The medicine she tooked knocked her silly for hours and hours, so she had to miss church.

GOOD: Music this morning; stage energy (it was especially moving to see Heidi get into the music); No glitches...
BAD: Maybe it was our responsibility (i.e., we didn't 'connect' as well with the corwd as we should have), but I always hate it when there's some big magoo on the front row who stands there and won't even open his mouth to sing, and it appears to be a 'contagious' condition to those around him/her. It' s happened before. Okay, okay...I'm sorry. I shouldn't say such things. Even as I type this, I can't possibly know what goes through people's heads every Sunday morning. Maybe they love it. Maybe it just doesn't "openly" show in their actions. A lot of times, after all, people who don't connect are new to the scene. So, I guess I'm the magoo, not them. But...still...I felt the crowd, overall, seemed "sleepy," for lack of a better word... At least at the end, when Jordan rallied some people into the song spontaneously...that was very cool and uplifting. If people didn't connect with THAT unexpected 'boom' of energy, I don't know what will...

GOOD: The opportunity to gather Christmas gifts for children internationally.
BAD: OMG...though the video promoting the whole idea contained some powerful images and stories, the narration and the overall...'cheesiness' of it utterly shattered the 'mood' of the morning. That's only my opinion, and I may be alone in that. Mind you, it wasn't the challenge to help or the description of need I found cheesy (by any means), but the video seemed to primarily target an audience of much more 'conservative' settings than ours. Still...our church needs opportunities like that (missions-related stuff), so that part of it is exciting... So flame me if you disagree with my opinion...

GOOD: Small group was laid back tonight, to say the least.
BAD: Only Eric and Wendy and their young-uns showed up. Well, Eli did for a bit, then bolted after about 5 minutes. Read J-mo had a headache, but I don't know, for sure, what happened to everyone else. So we just wound up eating, watching "Kindergarten Cop" (-sigh-), playing some GTA: San Andreas, then...everyone headed out...after which, I played more San Andreas, then wound up up here blogging. Oh, much joy. Call tonight's small group "collective malfunctions," I guess...sick kids, headaches, schedule conflicts, whatever...made for a "Why didn't I just cancel it?" kind of night... Still, hope Eric and Wendy enjoyed the opportunity to veg out for a bit... I'm just glad I didn't buy food to grill out...

GOOD: The "Trunk 0r Treat" event at the church last night.
BAD: Nothing...it was an incredible success. I still can't believe how many kids showed up. I hope that 'community impact' we all want to see is really starting to happen. If I have to pick something bad it's that we ran out of candy, but that wasn't for lack of preparation. Running out in this case was a very good thing, really...

GOOD: Managing to keep my temper and sarcasm under control today
BAD: Having to keep it under control in the first place.

ONE MORE 'ONLY GOOD' THING: Got yet another suprise check in the mail from our house sale in Birmingham. That makes for 1 expected and 2 suprise checks, the latter both being much more each than the one we expected. God rocks...

KEY PHRASES:
1. File this under "things you don't ever want to hear your waiter say": "Good catch!" (uttered as J-mo singlehandedly prevented some malfunction at Applebee's the other night).
2. "Home Depot employees get paid to smile and say, 'hi.'"
3. "No nibbling allowed." (sign at Firehouse Subs)

Things I like to hear...

1. "Out for Delivery" - I love reading this on UPS's website after entering a tracking number. Means that some good, though worldly, possession is on its way. Today, it's our new laptop...w00t. Get my geek on.

More things I like to hear:

2. "Relax, I don't think that one's going to stink. It was too loud."
3. "You left your kid at home? Great!"
4. "I don't think PC gamers are geeks at all."
5. "Sure, Kevin, you can buy one more guitar."
6. "This check is for more money than I expected."
7. "Ooo...don't watch him clap, or it will throw you off."
8. "Your band doesn't suck..."
9. "I was able to get off work."
10. "Decatur's getting a Macaroni Grill" (sorry, that should be filed as "things I WANT to hear."

After reading E's entry for the a.m., I was reminded of our being 'snubbed' by the "X-Change" in Elkmont. That threw me for a loop. I know our video that I sent them was by no means professional, but I didn't think we sucked. At least not by North Alabama standards. Granted, that was like 2 years ago, and I think we're much better and more polished now, but sheesh. Maybe we just weren't young enough...or 'hip' enough...who knows. Still, it would've been nice to have had that work out. I'll probably re-approach that in months to come, now that things have come together more. Heh...there are better things in life than going to the metropolis of Elkmont (heh...j/k...I just like to heckle small towns). Like playing a the VBC in December. Now THAT is going to be cool...

(a lot of work...but cool).

More good news...

Today wound up being a very relaxed day as it wound down.

The Guad was cheap tonight (it is if you only order a coke and some cheese dip :-D). Small crowd of J-mo, Eli, Stacey, myself, and the rugrats. In fact, the whole restaurant had a very small crowd, so the atmosphere was quiet. I needed that. A much-needed 'peace' about all things kinda came over me tonight...and it was weird, but good.

I'm probably going to refrain from my 'deep thought' blog for a while, since most of what I find a want to say in that blog would better be served in dialogue with people... I'd hoped I could keep it as a place to go deeper, but...if I feel led to do so, I'll go there in this one when it's appropriate. Maybe I'll reserve that one for a book idea I've had for years. That would at least be innovative...

In other news, my new mouse arrived today...a Logitech MX510. Got it for a good price from Amazon, and hopefully it will improve my gaming skilz, since it's supposed to be more accurate than my MX500. It seems my hopes for a gaming community are waning as people do other things, so it's good great single player games like GTA: San Andreas, Halo 2, Half-Life 2, Men of Valor, and Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault are right around the corner... Better get to playing before child #2 comes along.

KEY PHRASE: "Bop it." (Oh, how that simple phrase brings back nightmares of MountainTop middle school mission trips - "Bop It" is a ridiculously loud noise-making toy - while at the same time...well, you get the idea).

Now for some good news...

In spite of a really LOUSY night's sleep and an even lousier morning...today got better.

First, got a surprise check in the mail from our mortgage company for our house that we sold in B'ham. We were expecting one for a tax reimbursement, but also got a much larger one (unexpected) for an insurance premium reimbursement. Woohoo! I have to chalk that one up to God...'cause we were not expecting that at all.

Second, I took a few moments this afternoon to re-reflect on a lot of things on my mind lately. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm not in control of my world. "What?" you say... "What's so encouraging about that?"

Well, it's simple...really. All the things I try to control...all the friendships I work to maintain...all the plans I have for the future...all the 'gripes' I try to negotiate...all the worries I have about financial peace...all the criticism I get to listen to...

...and it's good to know that I'm NOT in control of these things. Sure, I can make plans. Sure, I can do my best to act right and plan right. I can even try to be the best diplomat I can be or try to determine those times when I have to put my foot down at home or at church and say, "Enough is enough." But, in the end, I have to rely on God for everything.

Getting the surprise check in the mail helped with that. Re-visiting the story of Elijah this weekend at church also helped...knowing that there's a person who felt like he wanted to give up trying to instill a passion for God in the people of Israel.

I've been there. I've been there this week. I'll probably be there again...wanting to give up, that is. I get so discouraged sometimes thinking about how many times in our walks with God we have to fall and learn all over again the power of grace...and how many times we walk away from good things in our lives in pursuit of the wrong things...or how many times we say things that offend or even wound people...or how many times I feel like I'm just a quiet voice trying to lead people during a tornado of differing opinions and needs.

But to get too discouraged is to think that it's all about me... Thankfully, in all these circumstances, God's been there and will be there.

And today - as it should be - that is enough...

Has anyone got any zoloft?

Another weekend gone and buried.

I must say I thought the music went pretty well this morning without me, which is a good thing. All string-breaks/missed verses aside, the crowd engaged the music and it was fun to watch.

Still, it was hard to sit back there in the back and just enjoy it. Since all this stuff is normally my responsibility, I couldn't watch without taking a lot of mental notes:

-Kyle really does NOT move at all onstage, does he?
-I know they turned J-mo's drums down, but they still sound really loud out here...but 'canned.'
-Come to think of it, the whole band sounds a bit 'canned.' Vocals are strong, but the guitars sound muffled. Didn't sound that way yesterday. What did the feedbackers change this time?
-Oh...not much...only the drums are down. It's definitely partly the fact that high frequencies don't pass through people as they're standing. Need to get those speakers elevated to project high frequencies beyond the front row.
-You really can't see crap from the back...
-What if Scott pokes Eric in the eye with one of his uncut string-ends?
-Where are we going for lunch today?

Seriously, volume-wise, everything sounded okay, but muffled...and nailing down this persistent problem has got to happen. I know that looking at the board, the volume on the instruments could've stood to be louder...Wes commented as such...especially that the guitars seemed to quiet. But in addition, there's a serious acoustic problem with the room in terms of speaker placement. If high frequencies aren't getting passed the front row, no wonder all Donny hears is drums and feels inclined to turn them down. Their acoustics do make it out, but the speakers themselves don't project through solid objects.

Still, I must comment that some songs are SUPPOSED to be loud...turn them down, and they sound worse. So, step one: Move the floor wedges up high...see if that makes a difference of any kind. Step two: Read Wes' blog entry...whom are we trying to reach? Are we designing worship to cater to those church 'transplants' that have come through the door, or are we designing a worship service to be something that risks (when needed) being more than the same ol' stuff? Not trying to start a malfunction...just want anyone reading this to chew on that... Loud is good.


Anyway...took a LONG nap this afternoon. As most of you reading this know, I've been in much need of sleep. Lack of sleep leads to everything from lack of coordination, serious forgetfulness, and even 'depressed' moods.

Small group seemed pretty packed tonight, since there were so many kids were running through the room I guess. I REALLY hated the fact that Jordan had to miss tonight, but such is life. Still, the noise finally got to me, and my head started pounding.

I dunno...I guess I do take the 'group time' seriously, and I hate it when things get out of focus. This week, I'd worked on the topic since I listened to the Willow Creek "Elijah" message online. Had some stuff I really hoped we could talk about, but the kids got under my skin too bad...especially my own kid running into the room crying "momma" about 5,000 times. I guess I need to be more patient with children, but when you've got a lot on your heart that you want to share - and feel like you CAN'T because of the serious noise/distractions - then that's frustrating for me.

Anyway, my headache got bad enough that I wound up opting out of watching "Saved" with the group and disappeared upstairs to play a game. Thought about just going to sleep, but with the kids, etc., I knew there'd be no way I could do that. Anyway, got pretty engrossed in "Tribes: Vengeance" and kept playing another hour even after everyone left. Not trying to be anti-social, but sometimes you gotta just disappear.

Well, that's it for now...

KEY PHRASES: "What happened to Verse 2?" "Did you just say 'man sack?'" "No, I don't mind when kids knock speakers into the plasma TV...I mean, I just decided to stop breathing for no reason at all."

Free thoughts...

Melancholia...

It's 1 A.M., and I've got those thoughts again. No, not thoughts that involve naked women or wanton violence...(maybe later).

Really, it's just those thoughts when...for no reason at all...I get a little depressed/down about God only knows what.

Well, it's different things. Like my job...I love it, but so far it's not financially lucrative (that's not a gripe about what I do by any means, nor is it an attempt to blame people for it)...it's just a realization. Still, I guess I can relax. We've reduced debt, sold a house, and even got a letter in the mail today stating our mortgage payment was going DOWN...which is awesome...

But still...I'm starting to think about my retirement, etc., and REALLY wishing I had more going for me by this age in my life...

Or...I'm depressed about doing the whole 'raising a newborn baby' thing all over again starting in May.

Or...well, this is probably most of it...that long, hard look at my own life and finding many things lacking. I'm out of shape. I don't achieve my full potential in things I put my mind to. In the past, a lot of this was just ADHD, but that could easily be remedied by forcing myself to 'focus.' But, in this case, I'm still recovering from a lot of depression issues...a full 3 years later. The depression itself is gone, but there are lingering 'issues.'

My past depression was not a "down" feeling like tonight, but the real "brain/chemical imbalance" thing that requires therapy and medication. That was me...when I realized depression was a very real part of my life in the summer of 2001. When I felt like doing NOTHING. Well, by now, you guys probably know the details...if you don't, I won't bore you here. Let's just say it took a toll on my health, my marriage, and...well, everything...

During that time (and the years leading up to it), I developed the really bad self-perspective that I was not worth anything. Not good enough to do anything. Not good enough to get a good job, etc., etc. Not just self-pity, but a view of self seen through the lenses of clinical depression. And even today, though I don't suffer from depression, some of those symptoms linger. I'm pessimistic. Though, I love what I do, I wonder, "When will it come to an inevitable end?" No one's given me any clues to suggest that will happen. No gripes coming from the person over me. No criticism from my spouse. Just an inner "doubt" that ANYTHING will really work out in this screwed up world.

I prayed and prayed that my last situation would turn into the job/career I was always promised...good pay, good hours, doing what I loved. But even after 4 years, that NEVER materialized.

So, now I'm just hesitant to get my hopes up.

Which sucks, because I have every reason to. Like I said, I love what I do. And I'm a part of something that's growing every week. I've got good friends (around here somewhere), a good wife, and an awesome daughter. Yada yada...

But, when you've been on a recovery road, it's not as simple as just looking at what's around you and going, "Gee, it's good now." Well, it might help sometimes to do that, but it's more like treating the symptoms than curing the disease.

How much should my faith help me with these feelings? Probably more than I let it. In the end, God's carried me through everything that's happened...good and bad, and I don't know why it's so hard to see that.

The problem is with me. And I just hope that these 'mental patterns' of self-doubt, etc. that I fall into can one day be erased from my mind altogether. At least nowadays, these moods pass (they didn't use to).

Here's to hoping.

Now don't go jump off a bridge or anything if I've depressed you by sharing my thoughts.

Unless you want to. With a bungie rope...tied to your ankles, not your neck...


On a side note, I installed Tribes: Vengeance last night on the PC...and I can't stop playing it. I never played either of the first two installments (though I played the related giant-mech game "Starsiege" years ago before the days of 3D acceleration...and it sucked. This one is pretty good, though. The single player is great, and the multiplayer is like a mix between UT2004 and...well...nothing...it's just a good game in it's own right. Jetpacks, ski moves...HUGE maps...

Also played the demo for Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault. OMG...I'm glad it's not real. It's accurate depiction of WW2 is some freaky stuff...it will certainly give Call of Duty a run for its money.

Ordered a laptop bag from Amazon.com a little while ago for the laptop Stacey and I ordered this week from Dell during their $750 off sale. A laptop nearly half price? Good stuff...

Anyway, sorry for the Wendy-esque changes in topics (There's a sale at Goody's...)...but it helps...

"We like these subs" and "Call my car K.I.T.T."

Mmm...had Quizno's for lunch and dinner today. Don't know why...maybe b/c it was cheap, and neither sub I had tasted like one another, so it 'felt' like 2 completely different meals.

Key words for today: Sleepiness...extreme sleepiness...nausea (Stacey)...did I mention sleepiness?

Like j-mo, for one reason or another I was up until 3 or 3:30 in the morning. Just couldn't sleep. I surfed the net. I watched TV. I played games on the PC. Just couldn't get tired. So, I e-mailed Scott. He's like, "why are you up?" I was just glad someone was around to talk to...heh.

Seriously, it's the third night in a row that I haven't slept more than a couple of hours each night, and it's starting to take a SERIOUS toll on my well-being. I get shaky during the day and I really can't concentrate very well at all...way beyond the normal ADD thing. At least then, what I focus on gets my full attention (even something distracting). But when I'm sleepy, I can't focus on anything...

Case in point: Had to run something up to Stacey at work today. I put Kailyn in the car, started it, and started to back down the driveway when I noticed that I'd (absentmindedly) left the door between the garage and the house open. So, I exited the car to go shut it. I turned around after shutting the door to see my nice new car rolling backwards (by itself) into the street (and my car is not K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider)...Kailyn inside and everything. I ran, jumped in and grabbed the handbrake, lurching the car to a dead stop just as the car entered the dead center of the street. No cars coming...nothing like that, at least... Still 10 feet from Dave's mailbox...which would NOT have been a good thing to hit with a car...even at 2-5 mph. Oh, well...all ended well...Kailyn didn't even freak out when it was obvious I was. I just climbed in, remote-shut the garage door, and drove off in a cool, "Look, nothing happened" kind of way...when deep down I was very scared of what just happened...almost not believing it. I do stupid stuff all the time, but NOTHING like this.

Did I say I've been dead-near exhausted? This was the crowning moment in my realization that lack of sleep can become a serious detriment to normal life. I've owned 5-speed cars my whole life. If the engine is running, you put the parking break on. Duh. Even in my first car (my old 1985 Supra), I never did something like what happened today - and that was when I was learning to drive a clutch. I got out of the car today, and it was still when I walked away from it...or I know I would've noticed the car I was getting out of was moving, I guess...

Still..stupid, stupid...

Soooo...I know why sleepy people do dumb crap like falling asleep at the wheel. When you're very sleepy, you feel out of it, but you don't always know just how serious it is. You aren't aware of the change...

After this experience, I pumped myself full of Mountain Dew to make sure I'd stay awake. Sad, eh? Now, a good 12 hours later, I can laugh at myself...thinking, depending on the context, what happened could either be the subject of America's Funniest Home Videos or a segment of Burt and Curt's "idiot of the day" (on 101.1 FM).

Anyway, tonight I wound up taking Stacey and Kailyn to Quiznos. Met J-mo there, and saw John's brother Joe, too. Wandered down to EBgames after eating and browsed the selection. Interestingly, in back they had a used $170 game for the XBOX called Steel Battalion. I'd heard of it, but never saw the setup before. By itself, the game would probably cost the standard $50 new. But the controller setup is the additional expense. It comes complete with this dual joystick, 3-pedal monstrosity of a setup that literally turns your XBOX into a full-scale mech simulator. Very cool. Maybe I should...hmmm...

Pray that I get some real good sleep tonight. I need it. Eyes...getting...heavy...

KEY PHRASES: "Should we just call his girlfriend the "pass-around" girl?" Kailyn, you're too young to drive by yourself." "Well...whoopty-crappin'-doo...everyone's out of town that weekend."

Winding down...

Well, I didn't get to spend a fun weekend in Hotlanta, but Decatur-land was okay this weekend. I'm glad the crew had fun there, though... So I didn't get to see some guy puking in a parking lot, but puking's a regular event at my house lately (the whole "Stacey's pregnant" thing).

Spent Friday night doing a lot of zilch...nada...nothin'. Actually, it was quite nice to just veg out and watch some TV with Stacey for a change. Saturday was spent doing yard work - hopefully the last of the season.

Today was the best day of the weekend, though. The 'alternate' band this morning (Kerry, Steven, Philip, Jack, and myself) worked out very well. I had a lot of fun changing that up this week. Kerry and Jack definitely want to get in on the rotation, so I've got to make that happen now. Even Philip commented that he would play anytime. I'm glad the music went well, because we had a record crowd of 83 people this morning.

Also, Eric's work on the sound board paid off, since the feedback was nothing but positive. Though, it was funny to see the guys back there act all surprised about our commenting that the mains get turned down every week and we lose control over individual instruments/vocals.

This evening, small group still met...and it was a surprisingly 'big' crowd, given the fact that 4 of the guys were out of commission b/c of their busy weekend. Kerry, his wife, his mother-in-law...Kim, David (don't know his last name), Eli...and the -shudder- kids. Wound up grilling burgers and steaks, then playing lots of XBOX and GameCube games on the 'revitalized' plasma TV.

That's it. No cataclysmic-level of excitement to report. But, a weekend of issue-free fun is worth blogging about...

Random thoughts...

-Atlanta's cool and all if you haven't lived there. But live there most of your life, you just want to leave. Too big. Way too big. Too much traffic. If my parents didn't live there, I doubt I'd go back for anything. Well, who knows...if it was the right thing. There IS, after all, a lot more to do there. As opposed to here...where everything closes around 9:00...even on weekends. Well, Taco Bell is open...but that does NOT count...

-The hormones that affect women during pregnancy are horrible to deal with. Still, I'm glad I'm not alone. I hear Sean in B'ham and Jonathan C. here are both 'adjusting' to life - like I am - with their respective wife-of-Job clones who are standing in for the normal, non-moody, loving spouses they married. Somebody...help...us...

-Mmm...Jim-n-Nicks.

-Ever notice that if the "s*** hits the fan," and that fan continues to spin, it fills the whole room with fecal odor. Somebody turn off the fan. Then wash it before it's turned back on. Please. Besides...it's not good for the motor.

KEY PHRASES: "He wouldn't know good chicken fingers if they reached out and tickled him." "Yes, apparently, it's strong enough for a man, made for a woman...guess he missed the second half of that line before buying it for himself." "Dad, put the game down so we can go home." (what Kerry's daughter said to him tonight...usually, it's the parents saying the "let's go" thing).

The return of happiness...

Ahhh... Kinda of the 'ahh' sound you make when you've FINALLY found that restroom you needed after driving down miles of interstate with nowhere to stop. You know...AHHHHH... Then you're like 5 lbs. lighter than you were when you pulled into the rest stop.

In this case, "Ahhhh" has nothing to do with 'kidney pressure relief,' but with the fact that the plasma TV is back home and working. Not too shabby...picked up Monday, back in our living room AND in working order (insert qualifying "so far" here) by Wednesday afternoon. We so happy. Happy happy joy joy happy joy happy... "Ren, you are so stupeed."

Anyway, so that's over with for the time being...I hope.

So, what else?

Watched the debate tonight...for 5 minutes, then changed the channel. Decided I'd rather just read transcripts later. It's quicker, and I don't have to actually HEAR Kerry say the phrase "this president has" again and again and again...or Bush say the phrase "grand coalition" either. So, enough about that... What else was on? Oooh...Stargate SG-1. Ooooh...is it Law and Order night on TNT? No...dang it. Oh, look...reruns of "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" Heh...now that's good humor.

Been working on a LOT of new praise and worship songs today...David Crowder, Todd Agnew (love him or hate him), and a few others... Heck, I'm working on writing a few, too.

Speaking of praise and worship...band practice tomorrow night should be quite interesting, since - with the exception of Steven - it will be practice with a TOTALLY new band. Should/could be fun, though. I know all of the individuals playing have an incredible amount of talent. Question is: How will all that individual talent 'gel' as a group? I will soon know...

Uh-oh. I've got that "I drank too much Mountain Dew" feeling. Must go find the 'ahhh...'

"There was an error..."

Okay, blogger.com. Work.

When I hit 'publish,' no more error messages, ah-ight?

-shortrant: complete-

"It'll tickle your innards"

LOL...that is slogan on an old Mountain Dew bottle someone gave me. It's from like the 60s, I think. I was telling Scott about it at the chili supper last night, and he just said, "That should be their slogan NOW!" Heh...then, we proceeded to envision a commercial with one of those extreme sports dudes drinking Dew then falling on the ground giggling, yelling, 'Stop it, stop it," then his friends saying, "What's wrong?" "My innards...they're tickling..." Then some Orbitz gum-like girl pops in and says, "Mountain Dew: It'll tickle your innards."

Heh...if you don't think it's funny, then you SUCK! (J/K...having an Adam Sandler moment).

Heck, we might even just shoot that video ourselves and send it to Mountain Dew. Have Scott just fall on the ground giggling, John and Eric going, "Dude, sup with you?" Then Kyle saying the catchphrase in his best "I don't even know what that means" voice.

Ah...senseless humor. Like the 'scooter boy' stories Clark Andrews and Chad used to make up back in "the day" at Mountaintop. Heh...'scoot, scoot..." (yes, you just had to be there)

The 'rents just left for Atlanta about 30 minutes ago, so life here is settling back to normal already. Still, the smell of home-cooked breakfast lingers in the house, and I will DEFINITELY miss that. Now I know why Kyle always eats with his 'roomies.' All in all, it was a good visit this time around, though the constant chain-smoking on behalf of my dad can get a bit headache-inducing.

Sunday went well. Big crowd, lots of guests. Still, I just held my breath when J-mo was told to put up the drum shield again (well, it may have just been an inevitable issue). I thought the mix had been sounding great. But, as someone said last night, you dink around with the sound too much without knowing EXACTLY what you're doing, then something's going to sound 'off,' then -BAM!- first thing to seem too loud is the drums. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for making sure we sound as best as we can - both onstage and from the crowd. That's the tough part, I guess...what sounds 'weak' to us supposedy sounds better in the crowd. So we all have to be sensitive to that. Still, I'm with E in hating this us/them mindset that develops without any REAL solutions being proposed. Well, I guess that's MY job, though...so (see points below).

But here's some guidelines I want to explore:

1. Never guage your mix in an empty room. People absorb sound better than bare walls, and the loud highs of cymbal crashes and guitar riffs are absorbed by warm bodies. We can protest this, but acoustic science is acoustic science. The music WILL sound different in a room full of people. Yeah, it'll be loudest on the front row, but people can pick where they want to sit...
2. We cannot be all-accomodating. For every person who thinks the music's too loud, there are those who think it's not loud enough. Besides, I'd like to SET the standard rather than follow along with it. If WE like loud music, and we want to break down people's 'assumptions' about how church is supposed to be, what are we doing to make that happen?
3. Professional help. We need it, and people like Dave and Jack and Donny HAVE to be there when we get it to hear the feedback/recommendations for themselves. So does the band, so we CAN all have a balanced perspective.
4. Equipment. It's hard to have a well-rounded sound when we're limited by the lack of low-end in our speakers. Subwoofers...we need 'em. Time to take up a special collection from music lovers in our crowd...heh.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but enough is enough. We need real solutions, not this 'going back and forth' over and over again about the same issues.

And another thing...if it gets so hot onstage that sweat is POURING into my eyes, we have another real issue. I cannot sing/lead well if my eyes are stinging so bad I can't open them...

Oops..I ranted. Not trying to.

Chili supper/ice cream social was fun, though we need to rename it "Fire and Ice" or something related to the necessary use of Tums, Gas-X, and other "help my bowels" medication that inevitably follows such an event. Note to self: There is NOTHING on TV at 3 a.m.

On a sad note, Christopher Reeve died yesterday. I dunno...I'd just always imagined that he would actually walk again one day. Still, his determination was inspiring, and hopefully the work he started will help others one day.

Pause to think how scary it is...

...to think about the potential of a terrorist attack on a school in the U.S.

That just hit me a bit ago. It's already happened in Russia. And schools are fairly easy targets, I think.

No political thinking here...just downright concern that something like this could happen.

Next on my list...

Band practice - okay, but some IEM 'distortion' and strange settings on the board. Apparently, someone's gotten 'happy' with the trim controls on the mixer. -sigh- Pass this along to anyone you see on the board: Don't touch the trim. It's set. You crank it without checking the ACTUAL (not perceived) signal strength against the meters on the board itself, you mess EVERYTHING up. Besides...you can only make someone sing so loud ;-).

-Rant: complete-

"Warning: The pollen forecast for your area is high." (from Weather.com). Oh, good. So that's what's wrong with me. What kind of pollen? Ragweed. Okay, I'm no gardener, but what the heck is a ragweed? I'm allergic to just the name of that plant.

Mmm...french toast for dinner. With eggs (sunny side up), and bacon... I love Cracker Barrel breakfast food. However, apparently Kailyn agreed with Kyle (see his blog) that the mac'n'cheese was terrible, 'cause she hardly touched it. However, she does like bacon, judging from the fact that she ate much of mine (You can only take so much of a 2-year-old saying, "Bite, bite, bite, bite" over and over before you give in). From now on, 'wrap those boys in bacon.' Errr...whatever that means...

My parental units should arrive sometime today. Should be good, but I'm a bit overwhelmed by the house-cleaning project I'm undertaking. With repeated bouts of nausea and excessive tiredness, Stacey's not been much help in that area. That's okay, though, since she might argue that's how I am all the time (not much help, that is, as opposed to nauseous and tired).

On a side note, I saw a special on The History Channel (don't laugh, THC rocks!) about tornadoes, which included a lot of info about the F5 tornado in the 1930s that destroyed much of Gainesville, GA. I've heard the story a lot growing up, but not on TV. My grandmother was in college in Gainesville at the time, and she survived the storm, though the campus she was at suffered extensive damage. Still, she never told us just how many people died in that storm: 190. I know she knew some people who died. Guess she just preferred talking about how fortunate she was to survive rather than who didn't. But I digress...

Now, when will that TV repair dude call me?

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Want my TV fixed...yesterday... tick-tock...tick-tock....

Need to clean, but TV is on my mind... well, mainly the fact that we spent $$$$ on a TV that needs some work. Warranties are good.

What else...can...I blog...about?

Random thoughts:

-Politics sux. I typed sux with an "x" because...I dunno...maybe I just wanna be cool and don't know how.

-If I choose to be pro-Bush, does that mean I'm ignorant?? I thought I was pretty informed and balanced. I'm not fanatical about Bush, and I've even been known to say positive things about Kerry (and show respect for both sides). Well, fine...I can...take a hint...-sob-

-Heh...I heard a preacher on the radio (don't ask) once say knowledge was foolish, and, in fact, he wanted to be 'ignoranter and ignoranter'. I think he got his wish. Moron.

-I do agree with my 2% friend segment that ignorance among Republicans is a sad, sad, thing. To be fair, so is ignorance among Democrats... Ignorance is a human condition for many people. Best thing I heard all week on TV was a college student in Miami (after the debate) saying, "I don't know yet whom I'll vote for. Unlike a lot of people my age, I want to have all the facts first, then decide." Very cool. It was refreshing to hear someone say that.

-But...what about the poor people who are for Nader? They must have to have a support group or something. Nader's got like 1% of the polls. I wonder why I never see any "Nader" sign in peoples' yards. Do they get pi$$ed off at BOTH the other sides? Maybe they think we're both ignorant... Guys, just keep clinging to that 1%.

-Changing topic...

-Where I live are there realty signs (for sale), 'Bush/Cheney' signs, "Kerry/Edwards signs, and "NO HUNTING" signs all within 100 yards of each other. -Sigh- Only in Decatur...

-Where are my pants?

-To buy or not to buy "Tribes Vengeance". Since I've had ZERO PC gaming time lately, I'm debating the 'wisdom' of getting it. Supwifdat?? But the reviews are so good...and...and...it's got a single-player campaign...that's what I'm talking about. Need my 'waiting for Half Life 2' fix.

-Crap...I left my acoustic in the new car, and Stacey took it to work.

-I like this 'stream of consciousness' thing...

-Thanks, Dana...for IM'ing me and reminding me about my malfunctioning TV. :-\. Now I'm thinking about that again. Have to go call John now...

Great googly-moogly...

Plasma...tv...on...the...fritz...what...am...I...going...to...do...????

Why will it come on, then turn off after 20 or 30 seconds of operation?? Wow, a beautiful 20/30 seconds, but...what's wrong?? Did we buy a lemon? John S., where are you?

Can I weep out loud? Can I tear my clothes and cry out to God, "Why, God, why?????"

I can fix this...it's under warranty, and...and...in the meantime, I can use our old 19" TV to at least have SOMETHING to watch without lugging that 220 lb. WEGA back in here.

There, 19" of college-day-quality TV viewing sitting on the subwoofer. Very redneck, but it's something. Okay, power on.... What the... oh, no...not this TV, too...what's wrong with the color??? It worked 2 weeks ago!

Nooooooooo!!


Really, that was my day. To have something you spent $**** on suddenly go kaputz after only 3 weeks is a bit disheartening. Fortunately, after frantically rediscovering that I'm only part way into my 60-day return period, I was able to relax. Later on, John S. called me back and told me that he'd hook me up with an onsite repair tech, hopefully by the end of the week.

I hope it's something simple that won't indicate a string of problems in days/years to come. Otherwise, it's trade it in on something, and HOPE I can still get one at a good price.

Crap...maximum suckage.

On a funny note, Dave asked me to play a few worship songs tonight for the youth at the church. I sat there, guitar in hand for the whole meeting, only to watch Dave dismiss the group - having never sung one song (even after he'd put all the songs we were doing on powerpoint himself). He even asked, "Did we sing any of the songs?" I replied, "No." Hehe.

On Dave's behalf, I'll have to comment that the meeting did run a bit longer than expected, and he, too, has the sinus funk that's plagued the rest of us, so he was a bit dazed tonight. This week, I've know what it means to be dazed and confused like that. Wait, I don't need to be sick to be dazed and confused. Nevermind.

Still, it was funny, 'cause that was the whole reason I was there...well, mostly (the meeting was worthwhile anyway, songs or no songs). Good group of kids. NEXT week we'll actually sing something...LOL.

KEY PHRASES: John: "Why did you call my cell phone like 1,000 times today?" Me: "Save me, John." Stacey: "Tell me the bad news first....what do you mean there's ONLY bad news?"
"I've found the receipt" (Hallelujah Chorus plays in the background).

My nizzle is freezing

Okay, forgot to turn on the heat last night before I went to bed. Thank God for insulation...or it might have gotten even colder.

This is not a gripe, though. I really like fall weather...that is, once the sinus 'funk' passes. At least this year I won't have to rake a lot of leaves like we did in Homewood (sheesh).

Speaking of fall, it appears that Halloween has now become the same decorating, over-hyped nightmare that Christmas can be. Drive down my street at night, and house after house is decorated for Halloween. What happened to the simple Jack-o-lantern or fall wreath on the door that people only put up about a week before Halloween? No, it's not so simple anymore. Pumpkin lights. More pumpkin lights. There's this one guy who's even turned his entire frontyard into a graveyard - complete with skeletons, tombstones, and a faux rickety-looking fence surrounding the whole setup.

Well, I guess all the hype is for the kids. But they also had on TV yesterday that costumes have gone way up ($70 for a Spider Man costume???). If I ever have a kid who wants a Spider Man costume, I'll just make them one. So, it might look more like Tobey Maguire's pajama-looking "Human Spider" outfit in the first move, but still...$70??

I guess the best way I can celebrate Halloween is to pull out all my Simpsons Halloween specials and watch them. Hmm...I hope I have the one where Homer's family is the only survivor of a nuclear fallout, and he just blows his horn for the dead guy in the car in front of him to get out of the way, then he goes and punches the dead guy and the guy's head falls off, and Homer just says, "There..." or something like that. Hehe...you'd laugh, too, if you'd seen it, you bunch of anti-Simpsons sons of...

(Chad, I've failed as a disciple in trying to enlighten the world with the joy that is the Simpsons as you enlightened me. It's funny how, one day you're watching the show and you just 'get it,' and then you can't miss it. Heh.)

Or I can watch classics like Monster Squad or "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

Or I can just grow up and be that crotchety old guy who tells kids to get off my lawn when they come to trick-or-treat. "Darn whipper snappers."

Or be the guy who gives out all that crappy pixie stick-like candy instead of the good stuff like 3 Musketeers or Milky Way bars.

Better not, or I'd have to give up a Rolex and a box of Wheaties when Adam Sandler comes in my house and tells me, "Next year, be prepared." (scene from Big Daddy).

What the crap am I talking about? I'd better go...

I can breathe!

Ahh...the feeling of getting better.

Just found out my parental units might be making a visit this weekend. That should be cool, since I haven't seen them in person since Christmas.

Headed out to eat at O'Charley's tonight. Mmm...no service or food foul-ups.

Okay...that's about it.

A quickie

(meaning, a 'quick' update)...

- Church = good; clogged sinuses and ear canals = bad. Stacey, me, J-mo and others have been battling the sinus 'funk' this weekend. The music was good, but it's hard to stay focused when you're sinuses actually 'hurt.' Napped all afternoon. But tonight, I started to feel worse after everyone left after small group, and - tada - I finally developed a low-grade fever. Great...

- On a brighter note, Stacey and I are now the proud owners of a 2004 Mazda6 5-door. We traded the Infiniti on Saturday morning. The Mazda's bigger, much faster, loaded (with working sunroof, heh), and much prettier than the Infiniti was...but above all, it's a better car for a 2-child family (which we'll have come May). And our car payment only marginally went up, so no big budget adjustment involved (or we wouldn't have bought the thing).

- To all you people with weekend jobs that keep you away from church and other things...sup wif dat? (j/k...I guess you have to do what you have to do, but we still miss you guys...)

WORTH REPEATING: "Fawns...I will never look at them the same again." (Song of Solomon reference...from this morning's sermon...-sigh-). "Dave, what does 'garden' mean?" (yes, another Song of Solomon reference). "Some of you may never get married." "Emma's at Awanis? Ah...I was just about to ask why it was so quiet in here... (j/k)." "Behave, or you get the 'special' sippy cup."

0 + 0 = 0

Zero. Nada. Zilch.

Other than dealing with our house closing and trying to determine what to do about a new car, 'zero' describes the other things going on this week.

I mean...ZERO social life. Missed the Guad (-sob-...what's wrong with us?). Friday night and? Nothing... No routine J-mo call about "what's for dinner." No mondo cookies from Jemison's. Okay, there was Ruby Tuesday's after band practice, but we were all almost too tired to really socialize. And the debate being on TV kinda diverted our attention, too.

On the bright side (a 'dim' one), Stacey and I went to McDonald's tonight. Even that was botched, as they got her order wrong (as in, "missing"). -Sigh- Not tip for them...at least we'll get free apple pies on our next visit. Mmmm...apple pie....mmmmm....

No PC games, no XBOX games, no gaming this week at all...just too busy. Gaming withdrawal is kicking in. My right index finger is twitching...need to satisfy that "left-mouse = fire primary weapon" urge. Joint Ops. Battlefront. Anything...

May Saturday mark the true beginning of an end to this week. Sure, selling the house was a great thing. A monumental thing. But we were so busy just trying to get that accomplished, the 'good feeling' of having that behind us probably won't set in for a couple of days.

On a side note, after reading Scott and Kyle's blogs...since Scott appears to be a person whom Kyle would suggest would fall for any good sales pitch, I encourage anyone with anything to sell contact Scott, since he's in a buying mood. LOL...I am SOOOO just kidding, so don't flame me. I'm actually glad our group can have opposing viewpoints that we can respect...

I posted my thoughts about all this in my other blog...just remember what I said about 'respect,' ah-ight?

KEY PHRASES: "Schwarzenegger for president." "He's not in a bad mood. But he will be if you don't keep telling him he's in a bad mood."

WORD OF THE DAY: "Crotchety" - LOL...that's just a funny word.