So I decided to take a bath...

I don't know why. I just did. As lousy as I've felt over the past month, I thought I'd relax this morning in the whirlpool tub. Hey, it's there...why not...

Relax. Yeah, right. In one simple motion of leaning upright on my elbows to get out and dry off, my left elbow managed to push right through the fiberglass of the tub. -Crack!- So, I had to sit there, doing my best to plug the hole with the palm of my hand while waiting for the water to drain out the drain.

Good grief. A couple of calls to my builder and a trip to Lowe's revealed that such happens more often with these tubs than they like to admit. Weak points in the manufacturing process or something. Whatever the case, the tub is out of commission until it can be repaired. Hopefully for free. But even if not, the repair is supposed to be cheap (and if it's not cheap, there's always the $7 tub fiberglass repair kit available at Lowe's).

In other news, I was $4 shy of the amount due for my student loan payment last month. I simply didn't think to update the amount to be paid in my online checking when the monthly amount due went up $4 last month. Unfortunately, I got a bill today stating that is actually claiming I am a full month behind. In other words...I'm not being told I'm $4 behind, but a couple of hundred dollars behind. Apparently, if my payment was only $4 shy, they count the ENTIRE bill delinquent....and now they, essentially, want me to pay the bill TWICE. I'll have to call them as soon as I get up in the morning and ask them..."What the crap is wrong with you people?" and hope that someone there can straighten this mess out quickly.

What a day. It wasn't all bad, by any means, but the 2 biggest standout happenings today were not good things. I hate drama like this. If it wasn't all happening to ME, I'd probably laugh it off...it is kinda funny...

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a day of resolution of the bad things from today.

One can hope, right?

Vignettes

So what's going on?

- Finally watched the phenomenon known as Napoleon Dynamite tonight. I know...it's about time. Though I think I lost some brain cells, I laughed my butt off at the movie. So strange...in such a funny way. "Tina. Eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!" Just realized where I'd seen Uncle Rico before...as Lazlo in Real Genius (the creepy guy who lived in the steam tunnels)...heh, that's a great movie, too...

- Met up with Kyle and J-mo (at Kyle's) for a bit tonight to lay down a piano track for the "Chari-tah" project. Kyle reminded me of an electrician...specifically that dude in "Down Periscope" who had soaked up a lot of voltage they way he rigged things to work (yikes...I watch too many movies). Kyle had wires running everywhere...speakers everywhere...but it worked... By the way, J-mo needs to get a pic of Kyle's room. It's like stepping into a time portal back to 1987...especially with the pictures of 80s Lamborghini Countachs on the walls. LOL. I had many of those back in the day. While we were there, his mom...er...um...roommate...came in and said, "I've been getting after him to clean his room." LOL...too funny. Kyle is a perpetual teenager. (-sigh- I can laugh, but when he buys his $******* house outright one of these days, we'll be calling him "Root: Giver of Wisdom" or something as we cry over the amount of our own mortgages).

- If I said it once, I'll say it a thousand times: Lobster, crab, and seafood-stuffed shrimp is da bomb diggity. Mmmh!

- Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. Comes out Tuesday. Might have to trade in some DVD's and old games and get that. I need a 'fifth freedom' outlet for stress, anyway.

Well, that's it for now...

DIALOGUE OF THE NIGHT:
Me: "What's your cat's name again?"
Kyle: "Scratchy."
Me: "Do you name your animals depending on how your body feels at the time?"
Kyle: "Heh."
Me: "Hi. This cat here is 'Scratchy,' and this one over here is 'Burning Sensation.'

Tunnel Vision

I don't quite feel like the same person I used to be. Don't worry...this is not another rant about being out of shape, overweight, or being a parent. Nor is it yet another vomitous discussion about past baggage.

I'm thinking about 'vision.' Not optical, but spiritual. What is my vision?

Lately, I feel like my vision - the God 'possibilities' in my life - is short-sighted. In other words, I don't think I 'dream big' anymore. Considering some of the awesome things I've experienced over the years (so far), you'd think my goals would be loftier. By that I mean...you'd think the things I'd let God challenge and lead me into doing would be more...ambitious (wrong word?)...bigger...more exceptional...more 'grand,' not because of some inherent worth on my part, but because of a strong faith that God can do anything and I'm not going to lot the skepticism of daily living chip away at the real possibilities.

That doesn't mean I want another job. It doesn't mean I want to live somewhere else. It doesn't mean I feel like - somehow - I'm sitting here in a "this doesn't matter" transition phase just waiting for God to yank me out and put me somewhere where real godly things can happen. That's not it at all. I want better 'vision' here...right where I'm at. I'd like to think that I can believe that God can (still) do be things here...in Decatur...in Alabama...at Crosspoint...beyond Crosspoint. I'd like to believe I'm still a man capable of being a part of whatever God does...not because of some warped sense of privilege or innate ability, but simply because I'm willing to believe and take the risks in serving and loving God.

But the truth is, I'm choking on my own skepticism. Though I believe God can still do big things, it's almost become like I don't expect to see it anymore. At least not for me. That's what I mean by a 'lack of vision.' Though part of me believes that some of my narrowed 'vision' is simply the result of maturity or a 'realistic' perspective on the difficulties and personal obstacles/baggage inherent to ministry, I'm beginning to realize that the real reason for my tunnel vision is that I sometimes just don't believe big things are going to happen, anymore. This belief is further exacerbated by the baggage and incredible 'backstepping' of partners-in-ministry gone by...when you see close friends who shared in some awesome 'god things' in times past suddenly (or slowly) extinguish their commitments to anything godly.

The 'big things' God is certainly capable of accomplishing seem so...impossible...when you've let your faith become callous because of the 'rut' of nothing exceptional.

But I want to believe...

I want to believe there's more than just what I/we do now. I want to believe God is going to do something big. I want to believe He IS doing something big, and that it's only my own perspective and skepticism that's preventing me from seeing it, sad as that may be.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe this deep down - in spite of my skepticism. But I want to truly believe it in such a way that all the efforts of my life reflect my belief that God is big and big things are possible/are happening. Otherwise, I'm only reflecting faith in a little God...and what kind of a testimony is that?

"If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out..." Does this passage apply to vision? If so, then things are going to get messy...because I want move past my own shortsightedness...I want to get out of the mundane and routine...I want nothing less than to live a life KNOWING God is capable of doing great things and I recapture a vision (read: set goals) that really reflect that.

I want to break out of the rut of the 'unexceptional.'

Quiet night..

Fortunately, round 1 of the severe weather 'event' never materialized for our area. While some locations in south and central Alabama were under tornado warnings and getting hail large enough to shatter windshields, all we got was rain. While I'm a bit disappointed in the reliability of what seems like EVERY weatherman in Alabama, I'm glad they erred on the side of caution.

Round 2 is still supposed to get underway sometime today. After getting egg on their face about last night, the weather dudes are more reserved in their prophecies of doom, but they are still insisting there's a threat for pretty much any location in Alabama today.

In the meantime, it is Easter Sunday. Lots to do. Lots to celebrate. Will worry about the weather if it actually does anything worth worrying about.

Quiet night..

Fortunately, round 1 of the severe weather 'event' never materialized for our area. While some locations in south and central Alabama were under tornado warnings and getting hail large enough to shatter windshields, all we got was rain. While I'm a bit disappointed in the reliability of what seems like EVERY weatherman in Alabama, I'm glad they erred on the side of caution.

Round 2 is still supposed to get underway sometime today. After getting egg on their face about last night, the weather dudes are more reserved in their prophecies of doom, but they are still insisting there's a threat for pretty much any location in Alabama today.

In the meantime, it is Easter Sunday. Lots to do. Lots to celebrate. Will worry about the weather if it actually does anything worth worrying about.

Egged

It's been one of those "only a parent would understand" kind of days. Kailyn is old enough to enjoy Easter festivities now, so we've been doing Easter-related things all day.

First, Kailyn enjoyed the Easter egg hunt at the church. As a church event, there was a pretty good turnout of kids and their families. Plus, all the kids there seemed to be having a great time. Unfortunately, being the 'dad,' I forgot to bring a basket for Kailyn to put the eggs she found into. But being the 'improvisor' that I am, I 'borrowed' the offering basket for an hour (don't worry, I put the 2 cents that was in it BACK after the event...hehe).

Second, Stacey showed Kailyn how to color Easter eggs tonight. She loved doing that.

Got some pictures of both events...will have to post them later.

Though I normally have a certain degree of 'newbie' anxiety about some kid-oriented activities, today turned out being pretty fun. Hopefully, the looming weather threat tomorrow won't overshadow the holiday and the beautiful day that today was.

"That would relocate your house quite nicely..."

If you couldn't tell already, I'm an avid weather fan. I still pray for snow even when those around me want none of it. I like being outside on spring days. I actually enjoy watching severe weather coverage on TV when it happens. Okay, maybe "fan" is too poor choice of a word. Maybe "geek" would be better.

All joking aside, I take severe weather events very seriously. My grandmother was in a tornado that nearly destroyed Gainesville, GA many years ago. Trees fell on my parents house a few times growing up. I've stood under a funnel cloud. I ran for cover when a big storm hit our home in Birmingham and I watched trees bend over 90 degrees (and we lost some very tall pine trees in our backyard to the storm). And I've heard the stories from people who were caught unaware when a big storm hit.

This weekend, a pretty potent severe weather threat is developing. Round 1 is supposed to take place this evening and tonight, and the bulk of that activity should stay south of us (near Birmingham and southward). We still may get some strong storms, but - at this time - it's not supposed to be so bad around here. Round 2, however, has me concerned much more. Round 2 is supposed to happen in the morning through afternoon hours tomorrow (as in Easter Sunday), and that threat may affect us. The greatest activity will probably be in the northeastern corners of the state, but we are not out of the woods.

From NOAA: "FOR EASTER SUNDAY... A HIGHER THREAT OF TORNADO PRODUCING SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS EXISTS DURING THE MORNING AND AFTERNOON HOURS."

From ABC33/40 in B'ham: "These thunderstorms will have the potential to produce damaging, long track tornadoes. The specific areas that will be affected cannot be forecast just yet, but we are increasingly concerned about the area from Birmingham on to the north and northeast tomorrow during the late morning and afternoon."

ABC33/40 also warns that the NWS might upgrade this event to a 'high' (that's a 3 on a scale of 1 to 3) risk event. That is very significant. The last time they did that, an F5 tornado ripped across the northwest corner of Birmingham...one of several tornadoes that touched down April 8, 1998.

The thing I fear during events like this is the 'dismissal' given to them by people. "It's just another storm." "Welcome to Alabama in the spring." "I'm not worried." Though odds are likely that many of us won't experience bad weather, it is possible...and the greatest danger is not taking it seriously. This Sunday, many people will be in church. I hope that our church and other churches are prepared for the threat...having someone listening out for warnings on a weather radio or something, and knowing where to send people should a storm hit. Goshen United Methodist Church in the Anniston area was destroyed by a tornado on Palm Sunday one year - while people were there. The threat is real.

Just keep your ears open, people...

I need a plan...

Something about being sick with pneumonia last week, then having to sit 3.5 hours in Kailyn's doctor's office surrounded by sick kid upon sick kid has convicted me that I need to take much better care of myself than I have been.

But I need to turn this into more than just an idea. Initial steps:

- Caffeine reduction. Reducing the intake of this should help me have more energy, better quality sleep, and lower blood pressure. This may be the toughest, because I LOVE Mountain Dew. I've got to figure out how to scale back on that. Would do wonders for weight, too.

- Exercise. Springtime. Now, no excuse. Gotta clean the weight bench off, too. Get the mountain bike tuned up even if all I wind up doing is circling Point Mallard.

- Accountability. Need to find someone to make sure I'm committing myself to this.

I'm sure I need to do much more, but I've got to start somewhere.

Old habit...

It's Monday. So, in the spirit of Mondays gone by, I decided to meet J-mo and Kyle at the Guad. Haven't been there in forever...well, at least not since Stacey got sick after eating there (a pregnancy thing, not a food issue). I was also 'flying solo' tonight (leaving Kailyn/Stacey at home), so the cost of eating was kept to a minimum.

J-mo bugged out after eating to go to CVS, but wound up roaming around the mall briefly with Kyle. I think we both are a bit concerned about the bright, fluffy, happy return of psuedo-80s clothes in all the stores. Bright blues, oranges, yellows, and...most of all...pinks. It literally made the stores seem 'bright,' too. And these are GUYS' clothes I'm talking about. Think "Miami Vice" meets "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Yikes. I even read an article on MSN this week stating that white jeans are making a comeback, too. God help us all.

I admit, I liked the 80s. But even then, I was out on a lot of the fashion trends (maybe that's why I was such a nerd). I just couldn't get into parachute pants, Air Jordans, pure white jeans, and permed 'mullets.' Nor did I find girls with ultra-big hair all that attractive, either (you could hurt yourself on hair with that much hair spray in it). I did, however, love 80s television (Airwolf, The A-Team, Knight Rider), real 80s heavy metal/hard rock (Van Halen), and the beautiful technological wonder called the Atari 2600 that sat under the VCR on the TV stand.

But enough was enough. I grew up. Admit it...you can play Asteroids on the Atari for 24 hours and never 'beat' the game. Boring. Give me Far Cry or Splinter Cell anyday. Furthermore, the shows on TV really were ridiculous. ANY time a car flipped over multiple times on the "A-Team," the bad guys inside would ALWAYS deliriously crawl out. No one in that show could shoot, either...even though their guns had infinite amounts of bullets. Even the beloved K.I.T.T. of Knight Rider was no longer a novelty once Firebirds were all over the highways. Finally, 80s metal was forever tainted by the over-exposed hair bands that had me convinced that some of the lead singers actually took estrogen injections or something to hit the high notes they hit (think: Steelheart...-shudder-).

Why there seems to be such a fascination with the 80s emerging in our 21st century culture is beyond me. Songs like "1985" by Bowling for Soup ('entertaining' video, however). The afore-mentioned fashion trends.

How did I get started on this rant, anyway?

Do I have a point?

No.

But thanks for reading this far, anyway...

Better...

Today 'almost' feels like a normal day. If it weren't for some lingering exhaustion from my pneumonia ordeal, I think I'd be feeling perfectly normal. But since any improvement is a good thing, I won't complain.

Church this morning was a good experience. Dave's message (and the song, "One Thing") really got me thinking. Is there anything extraordinary about my faith? Is there anything that sets me apart from the droves of pseudo-Christ followers out there?

I've been a part of some amazing things in my life. I've seen God do things and ignite a fire in my heart that I thought would never fade. I've seen prayer answered instantaneously. I've seen people come to Christ who I never thought would. And...at those moments...I'm on fire. My faith seems alive...vibrant...even contagious. Sadly, a few weeks of settling back into normal routines turns the experience into just memory, rather than an ever-present feeling.

But I think that's my fault. These opportunities are not 'elusive' experiences. Most of them happened when I 'uprooted' myself from the world for a short time: Mission trips, for example. I guess I think the real problem is that I don't engage that kind of activity in my everyday life like I want to. I need to.

...

On another note, someone called my cell phone at 3:00 a.m. last night. Wrong number, of course. Goobers...as if I don't have enough trouble sleeping already.

Beautiful day outside today, so I'm sitting on the back porch with the laptop as Kailyn plays in her sandbox. It's quiet, too. I love Sunday afternoons. No noise from the factories near the river. Very little traffic on Gordon Terry Parkway, so there's the absence of the usual 'hum' of cars/trucks going down the road. Only the noise of bugs and the occasional laughter of kids playing in the neighborhood. Heh...I guess I'm a suburban nerd.

Changing the topic...

With the severe weather season approaching, I'm envious of E's amateur radio connections. I think it'd be cool to actually hear reports as they come in directly from the source...or even be a weather spotter myself. Not that I love the destruction caused by storms like the ones coming this Monday night/Tuesday may bring, but I have to admit - as a weather nut - there's something mesmerizing about massive storms and tornadoes. Closest thing I've ever seen to a tornado was a huge rotating wall cloud while on a church retreat just outside of Birmingham a few years back. We're looking at the sky for the twister (call us stupid), only to realize the WHOLE sky over our heads was rotating. And you could hear some serious wind noise at altitudes high above us. At that point, we took cover... Still, the experience was awesome...like 'brushing' with something so much bigger than you...

Anyway, I'll enjoy this nice day while it lasts....

They have a vanilla coating...

I have magic pills. Yellow ones that have a vanilla coating. Half-inch long little wonders which are supposed to help rid my body of the infection in my lungs (read: pneumonia). Though my doctor visit revealed pretty high blood pressure and a gentle warning from my doctor that I need to get in shape, the 'mystery' of my lousy feeling all week has -hopefully- been diagnosed.

Being the girl (lol) that I am, I get incredibly anxious and stressed about a lot of things. But NOTHING has made me more stressed out lately than knowing something was wrong with my body and not knowing what. And - since the infection in my lungs is located right near my heart, my mind began racing with images of cardio problems. Needless to say, I was actually a bit frightened since my lightheadedness and the pain and discomfort in my chest hadn't gone away after a couple of days.

So to find out a small spot (infection) showed up on an x-ray today made me breath the sigh of relief that comes from just 'knowing' SOMETHING instead of nothing.

-On a side note: I still hate needles. Yes, that, too, makes me a girl. (Why do guys say that? Girls handle needles better than we do). Actually, I hate the tourniquet of death they tie around your arm to make the veins pop out. I didn't even feel the needle go in, but I felt that stupid rubber strap cutting off blood to my extremities. Ow. -End rant -

Ironically, while I was sitting there in a state of pretty high anxiety getting my blood drawn, "This Fragile Breath" came on the radio over the Muzak system, and I almost laughed...since my breath LITERALLY has felt more 'fragile' than ever in the past few days. And I began thinking, "What if?" What if something is wrong with my heart? What if I'm starting a long, difficult journey of medications, treatments, and even surgeries? Could I still...praise? Could I still trust?

Sorry for the theological detour, but isn't a time of testing SUPPOSED to prove the mettle of our faith?

Even with the conclusions of the x-ray, I still have high blood pressure (way too high). And - to be on the safe side - I'm still scheduled to have an ultrasound of my heart done next Friday to make sure the spot in my lungs really is the culprit and there's nothign wrong with my heart. And what if something IS found to be wrong?

You see? Anxiety. I can blow ridiculous amounts of anxiety out of my butt. But why? What's the point of being anxious? All that's doing is contributing to my blood pressure and stress... The doctor gave me some samples of some stuff to help me deal with anxiety like this, but all that does is make me feel pretty pathetic, too.

But at least I'm not the guy the nurse who drew my blood told me about: This 40+ year old man in there yesterday she LITERALLY had to chase around the lab because he was scared to have his finger pricked. I laughed with her, though silently remembering an experience when I was about 8 years old when it took 5 nurses to hold me down so they could give me a penicillin shot in the a$$. Not fun. How embarrassing for me.

...

Anyway, after this ordeal, I came home and prepped for band practice. Given the pain in my lungs, I called Pam and had her fill in on (very) short notice. She did well, though a couple of the songs are indeed out of her range. Still, she and Eli did very well, considering the song selection and having ZERO time to prepare on Pam's part. I did feel up to singing on a couple of songs, however ("This Fragile Breath" - ironic, again). Overall, things were a bit rough on the instrument side of things, too, but I'm sure things will come together by Sunday. They always do.

In any case, I already feel a bit better. I'm certain I'll be able to jump in and lead and/or sing on all the songs with the ladies Sunday a.m. I plan to, anyway. I was able to do it last week. But it's nice to know things are getting to the point I can step back if necessary. That is, if I don't cause Pam to bust a vocal cord by making her sing a song that's in a key that's just too high. Heh.

33 going on 70

That's what I've felt like this week. Old. Out of shape.

Saturday morning, I was fine...other than the weird muscle strain/cramp I got while singing. But right after lunch, I crashed hard. Got lightheaded, dizzy, and I felt like my heart was leaping out of my chest. I sat down and the feeling subsided a little, but it's hung with me on and off ever since it happened.

Stacey thinks I'm just exhausted and I'm experiencing the consequences of countless nights of terrible sleep. I don't know what's going on. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow if I don't feel any better by then. Today, I'm not so lighthead, but I'm extremely tired (still not sleeping well), and my chest feels really tight in a chest-cold sort of way. No fever. No pains. No sweats. Just a general feeling of exhaustion and discomfort.

Maybe I've got pneumonia or something. Whee!

I dunno. Whatever the case, this is a wakeup call for me to eat better and live better. I should have more energy than I do. I should weigh about 20 lbs. less. I should have lower blood pressure. Besides, I have a family to care for and I'm still young enough to make some healthy changes in my lifestyle to make a real difference down the road.

If my body truly is a temple, then I'm a run-down bible church with yellow pews, noisy plumbing, and rats in the cellar. And I'm missing shingles on the roof.

Odds and Ends...

- Why a sore throat? Why people in the band? Why J-mo? Why Eric? (Why anyone?) And now...why me? Noooo... Can I take Actifed and Mucinex intravenously? I'm popping pills like candy to keep the symptoms at a minimum. Not bad yet, but something funky (and painful) is happening in my throat. It's been creeping into my life for the past several days, but the feeling tonight has got me...concerned...

- I'm a new-song-chord-chart-making freak. For the past two days, I've used most of my time working on new songs for the band to play. As of now, I've made 15 chord charts of various songs by people like Matt Redman, Jeff Deyo, Chris Tomlin, Third Day, and others... This has actually been fun. If I can reach my goal of 20 songs by rehearsal Saturday, then I've made a LOT of progress (and accomplished what I need so I can get the songs into the hands of band members). Lord knows, our 'playlist' has needed a more significant update than 1 or 2 songs here and there.

- Playing Halo 2 with a mouse and keyboard. Yes. I can actually aim. I can make it through levels on the FIRST try. Just need to figure out how to sit and be comfortable. Comfortable or not, it's actually kind of cool to sit in front of a 42" monitor and play games the way I'm used to playing them...well, the way I prefer playing them. I'm pretty good with a controller, but the mouse/keyboard combination is pretty much second nature. The only thing worse than spending the $20+ shipping charge to get the adapter here from Hong Kong is the realization that I'm a bigger nerd than I already thought I was.

- Speaking of Halo 2, the "Arbiter" is really cool.

- As if to prove the age-old adage that a child will not learn a stove is actually hot until they actually touch the burner, Kailyn ignored Stacey's warning tonight and decided to place her fingers on a burner that had just been turned off. Much screaming and crying followed...again. Her pain is gone, but the headache the screaming induced in me remains. Tylenol, anyone?

- Stacey and I cooked dinner for Dana and her fam tonight. Why? They've had a very busy week, so we thought we'd be nice. Food was good, and we got to eat with friends without spending lots of $$. Still, I'm having to constantly resist the urge to partake in Lobsterfest... Mmm...lobster...(insert gurgling sound in my throat here).

Don't you love it...

...when you're sitting at a redlight, then your whole car shakes with the unmistakable 'thud' of an impact? -sigh- I was at the stop light on the beltline at Westmeade Sunday night on the way over to J-mo's when this happened. A teenage girl had decided to introduce her Honda's front bumper to my Mazda's rear bumper (for Kyle, wouldn't that constitute a "date"?...LOL). When I looked in the rearview mirror, there were two people in the car - the girl, looking horrified at what she'd just done, and the guy next to her, who just sunk in his seat and shook his head (at her).

Fortunately, the impact didn't feel too harsh, and a quick survey of the Mazda's rear bumper comfirmed as much. No apparent damage to her car, either.

"Is there any damage?" she asked.
"Not that I can see," I replied.
"I'm so sorry. I just wasn't paying attention," she said.
"No kidding," I thought to myself.

Fortunately, this episode of automotivus-stupidus ended with no problems. But it's this kind of stupidity on the roads that leads to worse things. I completely tested the Mazda's anti-lock braking capability on Danville road by the mall last Friday when a lady in an Explorer turned across the road in front of me into the mall...and stop halfway because of congestion in the mall parking lot (she was cutting it close even without stopping). My car's brakes protested, but I was able to avoid hitting her at 40 mph. I sounded my horn, only to have her sound hers back at me. Sure, that makes you look even smarter...you nearly cause a major accident, but blow your own horn in defiance. "Honk if you're stupid."

Mmm-hmmm....

Feel free to comment about any of your own encounters with a driverus-dumbassus?

Ow

The word in my house is "ow." "Ow" to everything. "Ow, my toe hurts." "Ow, my finger hurts." "Ow, my mouth hurts." Then there's a lot of crying. Unnecessary crying. More like, "I want attention NOW crying."

Doesn't matter what it is. An uncomfortable hangnail on her finger can warrant the same kind of scream that a busted tooth can.

Grr... My hair is falling out.

Patience, patience...with...my...kid.

Must go shoot something. Die, Covenant scum, Die! (Halo 2-esque reference).

Seeing red, red toes, and rednecks...

As it was for many people, yesterday was a long day. I don't really know why. It seemed to be one thing after another, and I hate to constantly fend off my inner demon (the one Eric refers to as "Turretts"). For the most part I was successful, but only because I refused to open my mouth to say anything. If you don't have something good to say, then don't...you get the idea...

Fortunately, the day ended pretty well. Band practice was short and sweet. Food at Logan's was good. Talked to my bro on the phone a bit after I got home.

My 2 1/2 year old is now incredibly accident prone. Smack...busts her teeth on her bedrail. Bonk...falls nose first into the side of her wagon while riding in it, causing a nosebleed (and the unavoidable screaming a child creates at the sight of blood. 2 days ago...bong again...as she trips over her own feet in the kitchen and gives herself a quarter-sized knot on her forehead.

If you or me trip and fall, it's because of stupidity. But for her, it's because her legs are longer than they were just a month ago. Being taller, she can now hit her head on things like...tabletops...that she couldn't reach before. I knew this day would come, but I was wallowing in the eutopia of having such a well-behaved child, that I'm struggling with this now.

On top of this, she's picked at dry skin on her feet so bad that it's become painful and very red (or "orange," as Kailyn refers to it).

Such are the makings of long days. And we're adding another child to this mix?? Heh...(I laugh to console myself...)

...

On a side note, there was a flock of loud, heavy-drinking, almost caricature-like rednecks a couple of tables over from us at Logan's. Usually, I think the art on the wall at Logan's depicting rednecks hooting, hollerin', and being jackasses is just for humorous illustration purposes. But last night, you couldn't tell where the art ended and the real people began.

Am I being too tough? I doubt it. I'm sitting at a table with 2 asian guys, my wife, and my kid, listening to these guys cuss (loud enough for all kids in earshot to hear), tell racist-driven jokes (one particularly targeting Japanese people), and carry on loud racial overtone-laden conversations...

And here I am, actually hoping the people they scrounge up for Jerry Springer shows are really just actors...

I can only hope I just 'mis-heard' what they were saying...but I'm not that naive.

Generosity?

Saw this article online today about the nation's Top 60 philanthropists.

http://www.slate.com/Default.aspx?id=2112694&GT1=6208

It's an interesting article talking about how many "gazillion fathillion yen"(dollars) were donated to various charities by big wigs like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates. But while I admire their generosity, I hate the way they're called the 'most generous' philanthropists.

Why 'most generous?' The actual monetary sum of what they donated is the determining factor. While these numbers are very impressive, however, I personally do not think many (if any) of them deserve the title 'most generous.'

According to some Bill Gates fansite I stumbled across, Bill Gates is worth - as of today - something like $29 billion. Wow. His salary from Microsoft is maxed at something like 870,000, but most of his income nowadays comes from his stock in Microsoft (1.9 billion shares) and other investments/royalties. Another site estimated his total annual income (salary + investments) as $7.8 billion/year. Wow (again).

Let me pick on him for a moment. According to the article, he pledged to donate 2.7 billion to a (his) charity and made an actual donation of 627 million (I don't know for sure what the $3.4 billion dollar total refers to). His 'actual' donation is around 2% of his net worth, though his pledge/contribution total of $3.4 billion is closer to 11%. Based on his income, his actual donation is a 8% of what he makes in a year.

Does that make him one of the Top 60 'most generous?' No.

What about Oprah? She makes around $150 million per year. She gave away cars to her entire audience on her show this past year. According to the article, she donated $50 million last year. Now that's more impressive to me. That's like a third of her income (and she actually gave what she pledged).

Does that make her one of the Top 60 'most generous?' Maybe...'cause her generosity indicates there's more to her than just the dollar amounts.

This article does not address the countless people who donate more than 1%, 11%, or even 33% of their income or net worth in any given year. They go unrecognized because they don't make billions (or mere millions).

What about a family who can't afford to pay bills but still cranks out a tithe check to a church every month? What about people who have no money to give, but give of their time and energy? You don't have to look hard to see people doing things like this.

So why aren't people like this in the "Top 60 Most Generous People" list?

Don't get me wrong. I celebrate the fact that these millionaires and billionaires give anything at all. Admittedly, I'm more impressed with Oprah's giving than Bill Gates' simply b/c hers is a HUGE chunk of her income, whereas Bill's seems pretty small proportionally even though the actual numbers are higher.

Maybe I'm whining too much. But as I understand it, generosity is a character trait and not a 'figure' on a check. In my opinoin, there are a lot of people who give more generously than most people on that "Top 60" list and get no recognition at all. Where's the article for them?

"Jesus went over to the collection box in the Temple and sat and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two pennies. He called his disciples to him and said, "I assure you, this poor widow has given more than all the others have given. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has." - Mark 12:41-44.

There was pie, but all I have now is crust...

At least I have that...

A piece of the pie. Uncle Sam wants some. Johnny Tax-preparer wants some. In the past, I've been able to keep most of the slices, but - ouch - not this year.

Well, I need to stop whining. In the end, all we owe is a small amount of state tax. But the real frustration was the $$ we spent to have a tax preparer tell us we owed money...a fee that outweighed the money owed itself. D'oh. Still, when you're used to getting a decent tax refund, a year like this one kinda sucks. It could've sucked much more (we were worried about it), but - fortunately - it's not so bad.

As I blogged before, I seriously hope next year's taxes will be less complicated...so it would either cost less to have them prepared or I could figure it all out myself and use TurboTax of Taxcut (either option would make me happier).

On the bright side, the federal government didn't have free loan at my expense this year. True dat!